Here in Cebu still. Figuring out how to fit everything I want to do for work, all of this cramped into an 8 hour shift, I am pressed down, but not complaining. Work can drive me nuts but I have to admit that it does sometimes provide an avenue so I can keep myself sane. I would have to admit that it feels relieving that every nerve in my brain is working, hard, so I can come up with a sound decision. And more terribly so, management is requiring me to do just that every time.

Fulfilling, that's just a term. In some ways I feel just that, especially when you get something good done and people starts to give you a pat in the back. But deep within, I am running hard so I can get myself lost in the midst of the praises. Knowing pretty well that the one, whose attention I am dying to get, is out there trying to figure out how to not let me know that I am no longer the subject of that affection. Sometimes, the intention behind why lies are told justifies the lie itself. I will try to drown myself in that lie as I seek vindication from the pain, from that sad feeling of being in the losing end. Worst of it all, I cant stop myself from not yielding.