It has been a long long time since the last I posted something on this site. A year or so ago. I may never have pictures to show or something to say that makes sense or is even worth reading. I may have stop taking pictures of life, but one thing is still definite, there is still something in life worth writing about.
For starters, life here in Cebu has taken a peculiar turn. One I was not expecting of. Been in a relationship for over a year now. I don't know how to see this particular scene in my life's tapestry. This is an area clouded by a lot of emotions. One I will be describing in my succeeding posts. On another light, my work is great. I just got promoted. I am taking in new responsibilities, seeing my self through challenges and more often triumphant than not.
My relationship is taking the lead in my state of affairs. It dictates which of option I should take. Whether I should climb another level in the corporate ladder, or not, will not be taken in to action if it would mean that by doing so I will be losing much of my time over to stressful decision making moments rather than spending quality time with the object of my affection. When I love, it is really hard to define myself outside of it. I love recklessly, I love with all my heart. The good thing is that I am sharing this same concept with the same person who shows me the same amount of care as that of what I am showing.
It has been a year since I've lost in love. The coming over here in Cebu primarily was governed by thoughts of career improvement. When I came here, what I have in mind was a shot in love ones more. That relationship, prior to the one I have right now, didn't work, there were two many differences. I was asked to move here so we could live together under one roof. But, I've seen too great of a difference between us that to cohabit will definitely bring out the worst of our character. Yes, there was a mismatch, so I shifted my attention from love to really making things work here in Cebu. I think there was an amount of "fixing" that needs to be done in me, a portion of my life dedicated to taking up challenges and furthering my experience, my expertise in the corporate world. So I traced my new career with a new outlook. I am no longer subject to my emotions, one thing that is so hard to contend with, but I've learned, I really learned a lot.
So on with the new career, a sales trainer. After a year I finally got promoted to another level within the organization. I never really applied for the promotion. It was more like being singled out and voted by my peers as someone fitting for such a role. There were reasons that pushed me back from taking a position higher than what was what I originally came here in Cebu for. When I signed the new contract for my promotion, I never really thought highly of myself. I was not thinking much of getting a higher pay than the really high pay I am getting prior to the move up. I never thought of the new POWER I had along with the new position. What was in my mind is the fact that my scope of subordinates expanded drastically, one I was scared of being not able to manage wisely. the question that reverberated through my thoughts was not all about money or power, but the question of being a good leader, a doubt and fear that has become a shadow to me. Will I be able to affect a positive change? One that will bring a positive effect to the people below me, more importantly to my superiors, the ones who believe that I have what it takes.
But way back, further into the history of my stay here. I finally met the person I have been in constant contact with for almost 3 or 4 years. The person I am loving dearly now. Who would have thought that after a failed relationship, one that was even prior to that previous affair I described above, I would still be able to find the person that will fit in perfectly to the void I have been carrying around. A perfect fit to my imperfections, to the kind of person I am, someone that loves fiercely.
Everything in our perspective matched accordingly. We both don't like smoking, loud music in bars and sipping on a vodka sprite is no longer a sight or feeling to behold. There is nothing worth doing than getting an 8 hours of sleep, watching nice movies on our flat screen, and cooking gourmet and Filipino dishes out of our little kitchen, malls, gadgets--it is all about us, in a life dominated by solitude that only a handful of few are able to navigate successfully. Yes, it is almost perfect.
to be continued...